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By Amy Silverbrandt
Amy is an adult adoptee finishing her undergraduate degree in social work and is a program assistant with The Ties Program.
Recently, she read Beyond Good Intentions: A Mother Reflects on Raising Internationally Adopted Children by Cheri Register.
Enjoy reading Amy's reactions to the the book as felt by the heart of an internationald adoptee.
In this compilation of essays and adoptive motherly wisdom, Cheri Register shares in her own words the lessons she was taught while raising her two Korean born children.
Even with having every good intention to raise her children with love and a happy home, Cheri quickly realized that love does not heal all wounds surrounding the issues of adoption.
Delving into the difficult layers of racism, being a multicultural family, ignorance, denial, and religion, Cheri was able to explain how each one of these topics challenged her despite her good intentions.
As Cheri wrote, it became evident that she was willing to touch on the topics many people tiptoe around.
Creating an imaginary and neutral country called Tapoda; Cheri used stories and words from a variety of adoptees to show the universal struggles and questions many adoptees contemplate.
Reading this book through the eyes of an international adoptee I found it refreshing to hear a mother speak out on her experiences and how they shaped her to be not just a mother but an adoptive mother.
I appreciated her honesty and openness but also her willingness to be an ally for her children.
I found this book to be extremely validating and would recommend it to any family considering adoption or who is raising internationally adopted children.
Even as an adoptee this book challenged me, and I am hoping that it can challenge you too.
The Ties Program is the longest standing and most comprehensive adoptive family homeland journey organization in the United States.
It provides extensive preparation, meaningful (and fun!) programming, and resources for post-travel processing and assistance.
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